Should I Reconcile?
You are older and wiser now, with an experience or two, and a decision to make.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to ‘Go’ and start over with a new role of the dice.
Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena?
Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How to Decide
Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the centre draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets the word GO.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
Three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginnings of a course of action
Staying means action and a commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and commitment, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the “what if’s”.
©2004 2006 Colin Kennedy, you can reach him at http://www.candivorce.ca
|It’s True. When you hire me to prepare your legal package your divorce goes smoothly and quickly. You make two trips to the court counter. You hand over your completed documents knowing that your papers are correct and in accordance with the Divorce Act and the Child Support Guidelines.
The fee to prepare your legal documents and guide you through the system is a modest $249. There are no hidden fees, no taxes, no handling fees, no shipping charges.
If you are not going to kiss and make up then send your
You divorce quickly without adversarial lawyers
Avoid the pain of going it alone.